Self above narrative

One Friday evening, I found myself confronted by a choice: work or not? I couldn't decide and felt uneasy.

I decided to meditate before making a choice.

As I meditated, something became clear to me: I had two conflicting stories in my head about what I was about to do.

Story A:
Work and see myself as a workaholic, the type of person that actually works on Friday evenings. Isn't that troubling?

Story B:
Not work and feel like I hadn't done enough for the day. Feel unproductive, guilty and be a slacker.

As you can see, I was putting myself in a lose-lose situation.

Why do that?

Choices endorse stories, stories endorse identity

Play or work? Stay home on Friday or go out? Check Twitter or read a book?

They are all choices we can make. But the aren't just that.

Every action we take forms a moment in our personal narrative of our lives. And that narrative tells us what kind of person we are.

Because I did this, I'm this kind of person. Because I didn't do that, I'm not that kind of person.

That narrative, however, can restrict us and lead us into our own private dead ends and lose-lose situations.

Back to my dilemma, 15 min meditation allowed me dissociate my self from this inner narrative.

When I understood what I was doing, I decided not to endorse the negative sides of either story. One evening working doesn't make a workaholic, one evening not working does not make a slacker.

I did end up working, but with a feeling of calm. I simply wanted to do more work, and so I did. Simple as that.

What narrative might be playing out inside your head?

What effects does your inner narrative have on how you view yourself?

Coffee fuels my creative life. Buy me one, kind stranger?
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