home   ·   back

Instinct of immediate opposition

Pointing out one mistake in what a person said does not prove them wrong.

Saying you can’t understand how someone thinks doesn’t make them wrong or the situation any better.

Finding a non-essential flaw in an argument and magnifying it to feel important might feel like a win, but it’s the wrong game. As Marshal Rosenberg would say:

“Which game do you want to play: Who’s Right or Let’s Make Life More Wonderful?” ~Marshall Rosenberg, creator of Nonviolent communication

Too much, online (especially right vs left) and offline, we play the wrong game. Pointing out flaws, mistakes and problems often serves only to protect our ego or our old ways of being.

It’s easier to point out a mistake than actually change.

It’s easier to say you can’t understand someone than actually think through their side of the argument.

It’s easier, but not helpful.

If you immediately jump into opposition to a post, stop and examine the situation. The ego and emotion are barring the way of reason. You’re playing Who’s Right.

Play Let’s make life more wonderful. And invite the other person to play too.