The Maze of Preconceptions
A preconception is an idea or opinion you have about something before you really know much about it.
So we have these ideas, these thoughts about the future and how it's going to be.
Here are some common daily preconceptions:
"This is going to be difficult."
"This is how it's going to be."
"This is how this person will behave."
Preconceptions are walls
These preconceptions then become what we see. It's not the objective reality, but it is the subjective reality that we end up living in.
Every label, every preconception then becomes as real as a solid brick wall.
"This is hard." = wall
"This is a problem." = wall
"This is not possible." = wall
These walls then create our own internal maze.
As soon as we deem something hard, it becomes hard.
As soon as we deem something a problem, it becomes a problem.
As soon as we deem something impossible, it becomes impossible.
Even though it might actually not be hard, not be a problem, or not be impossible at all.
Before we proceed, I acknowledge that there are some real walls. But in our daily lives, there are far fewer real walls than thought-walls. Real walls are the ones built from the laws of physics and actual events in reality, and even those can be often walked around or jumped with a sufficient run-up.
But often, we don't navigate our lives by reality, but by the preconceptions of what reality is or will be.
And soon enough, we go about our life, from wall to wall, blundering about, trying to navigate this maze of preconceived walls. We end up going in directions we didn't intend to because we think-wall the most direct path ("I can't just do that").
Many of these walls were put in place long ago: build by our parents, teachers, friends, over the years.
But regardless of how they were built, I have a simple question for you.
What if the maze disappeared?
What if the maze vanished? What if the walls disappeared? Or what if there were far fewer walls? What would that look like?
This is easier said than done, but then, almost everything is.
So let's take more manageable question.
What would even partial dissolutions of the maze look like?
Let's take some preconceived thought-walls and break them down—with reflection questions to pose yourself.
"I can't do this."
What if you can? What if you think you can't just because you haven't done it before?
"This is not possible."
What if it is possible? What if you only don't think it's possible only because you haven't taken actions that would make it possible? What if you don't think it's possible only because your time horizon is short or you haven't dedicated enough time to activities that would make it possible? What if you don't think it's possible because you don't personally know anyone who did it and haven't seen how they did it? What if you don't think it's possible because of preconceived ideas about your identity formed from past experiences?
"This is a problem."
What if you think this is a problem only because a similar situation turned out to be a problem in the past? What if this time it's not going to be a problem? What if it is a problem, but much smaller than you think? What if you can jump this wall with 10 minutes of warm up (effort)?
"This is hard."
What if it was easy? What would that look like? What would make it easier? What's hard about it?
"This is a bad situation."
What if it's just a different situation than you're used to? What if this situation has the potential to bring out different parts of you and different and better behaviors?
I think you get the idea.
This is where I turn to the words of Zen master Seung Sahn.
One of the phrases he repeats often is:
A good situation is a bad situation. A bad situation is a good situation.
Whatever we think (preconceive) the situation to be, it becomes. In the end, any situation is just that, a situation—a mixture of events, realities of life, and your own thoughts about them. And it is the last factore that makes a situation good or bad. For different people, different situations are good or bad depending on how they view them—what thoughts they attach to their feelings change how they see them. Obvious in theory, not so in practice.
Example:
Your landlord kicks you out, you need to move.
Is that a problem? Well, it will require some planning and effort, that's true. But maybe you can ask a friend you haven't seen in a while to help. Maybe you'll find a better place to live. Maybe you'll have a cool neighbor that teaches you something or that you fall in love with. Who knows?
My point is not that you should just be optimistic and force yourself to smile through gritted teeth and declare everything as an OPPORTUNITY!
My point is that we often let our mind dwell on the preconceived notion of how an experience will turn out, and we often focus on the negative aspect of it, and stress ourselves out more than the real events warrant.
Putting on a blind-fold to see through thought-walls
And this is where we arrive at the mystical levels of stretching the metaphor.
These walls exist only in our minds. When we get close enough to touch them (first-hand immediate experience) we often realize they are not there in reality.
Examples:
Thought-wall:
"They're gonna say no."
You ask them, they say yes. What now? The wall disappears.
"This is going to be hard."
You start on it, and it's not. In fact, you enjoy the process.
"This is not possible."
It happens. You get the money, you figure out how to do it, you find a new study or written guide that shows exactly how to do it and how 50 people did it before.
If you were able to put on a mental blind-fold that would block you from seeing all these preconceptions and just crawled forward on all fours, you'd make progress in your desired direction, without negativity and self-torture.
But what's the blind-fold? How to do this magic trick?
The blind-fold is accurate, present-moment perception of how things actually are and what you can do.
And this is what I think master Seung Sahn means when he repeats:
Only don't know. Only go straight.
That's the blind-fold. Assume you don't know, see things as they are, then act, without preconceiving anything.
Of course, the tricky part is putting it on, because our mind is so used to creating preconceptions (putting up the walls).
I've found two ways to not create these walls or make them much smaller:
- Meditating (honing accurate and present sensory perception)
- Questioning (examples above, useful for when you've already put up an automatic thought-wall)
There are many guides on meditation, following any is better than following none. The simplest way to do it is to sit, focus on your breath, and redirect your attention to breath when your mind wanders (which it will do, don't feel bad about it).
For questioning, the prerequisite is simple: having input-free time. You need time and space to process what's on your mind and see the walls and question them. I've written more in depth about it here.
And now we come to the conclusion.
Spotting thought-walls is often easier done for others, so that's a good way to train it for yourself too.
Someone presents a "problem" and you see a clear how-to solution.
Someone describes a "bad" situation and you tell them what's actually good about it.
Someone says that something is impossible and you point them to 5 people that have done it.
When we listen to others, we get a glimpse of their particular maze of preconceptions, and we might help them see or even walk through some thought-walls. In the best of cases, we help them be a bit blinder to preconceptions about reality in general or nudge them in that direction.
In fact, this whole post is a nudge towards it. My invitation to you to not build your personal maze.
Be blind to your own preconceptions, as much as possible.
Rely on your moment to moment perception of reality as it is, not as you think it is.
Meditate to not give rise to strong preconceptions and question the preconceptions you've picked up in the past that have become the walls of your own maze.
Remember: direct experience is much better guide than thought in many cases, so put on your blind-fold and walk straight on with your hands outstretched. See if that gets you closer to where you actually want to be in life.