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Practice self-compassionate inquiry

Sometimes I find my self blaming myself for doing a thing in a less than ideal manner. Maybe I didn’t send a great email, or prepare well for a meeting, or I didn’t work as hard as I feel I could.

It’s easy to beat oneself up for all kinds of things. Easy but not productive.

The alternative is to practice a little self-compassion and ask yourself: why?

See your own behavior as a curious researcher might see a behavior of a new species. Why did he do that? What made them? What were the triggers? How could this behavior be modified?

This kind of examination and observation of one’s patterns is a useful alternative to self-blaming. Often there are underlying subconscious reasons that have made us behave the way we did, and with self-compassionate inquiry we can unbury them and understand ourselves a little better.

Interrupt the inner blaming monologue as soon possible, take a deep breath and instead ask yourself why things unfolded the way they did, as a curious scientist might.